Police Report: Is everybody drunk?

police_lights1Rude drunk stains public event
A drunk slurping from a can of PBR at the first Tuesday Night Farmers’ Market remained defiant when police noted that he had urinated in his pants. “So what if I did?” queried the Sonoma man, 30, on probation with a no-alcohol clause. During his subsequent arrest for drunk in public, and probation violation, the suspect became angry and unruly, hurling several politically (and anatomically) incorrect insults at deputies. He was jailed.

Dark passage
A Toyota Yaris exited the Safeway parking lot near midnight on May 7 without the aid of its headlights, a sure attention grabber for patrolling deputies. The driver, a 32-year-old Sonoma woman, exhibited the telltale symptoms of intoxication, and admitted to consuming three glasses of wine. Tests registered a .132 blood alcohol level. She was cited for the DUI and released to a friend.

Not too sharp
An 11-year-old girl got in trouble for bringing a box cutter to school on May 7. The Adele Harrison student had the tool in her backpack, and was showing it off to friends. The small crowd looked suspicious to one administrator, who confronted the girl and was told the cutter, with retractable blade, was for an art project. Doubtful; regardless, any such knife is deemed a weapon on school grounds. The girl was cited for the illegal possession.

Steal, shop local
A thief who boosted a woman’s wallet from an unlocked Volvo on Joaquin Drive wasted no time ringing up purchases with the purloined credit cards. By the time the victim discovered the crime and called it in at 10:45 a.m. on May 6, two different cards has been used to make seven charges in the immediate area, starting at 6:13 a.m. with a $4.49 purchase at Safeway – a large coffee drink to get the day rolling, perhaps? The fraudulent charges totaled about $510, and ranged from $20 at 7-11 to $204 at CVS.

Doing time
Because the crime of driving under the influence (shorthand: DUI) applies not just to alcohol but to drugs as well, police use a testing protocol specific to suspected drugged drivers. One such field test: close your eyes, and estimate a 30-second interval. For a driver on stimulants, like the Sonoma man, 35, pulled over May 5 on East Napa Street, time is distorted and difficult to gauge: what he judged to be 30 seconds was only 15. The man was arrested and sent to jail, where time no doubt passed much slower.

One sick puppy
Staffers at a veterinary clinic on Broadway were appalled and alarmed to see a man urinating on the side of the building at about 5 p.m. on May 5. They hurriedly locked the doors as the drunk, a 43-year-old Sonoma man, pounded on the windows and yelled incoherently. When police arrived, he began to amble away but was quickly detained, telling officers he was simply “headed to the store for one more beer.” Not for the first time, the man was arrested for being drunk in public and probation violation,

Drunk of the Week
In a week of much drunkenness, being arrested twice in one day takes tops honors. Reported as a “man down” on Sonoma Plaza, a Sonoma man, 52, was cited for public drunkenness at 10 a.m. on May 4. About 5 p.m. that afternoon, the same gent, toting a bag of six small bottles of cheap Chardonnay, five empty, earned another such citation.


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