Police Report

December 10
Does anybody here speak text?
When a 17-year-old pot dealer set up a sale in the high school bathroom via text messages, he didn’t realize the other set of fingers belonged to a cop. The incident began at about 9 a.m. when another student, 15, was found to have a pot pipe and two cell phones in his backpack. Predictably, he disclaimed any knowledge of the second phone. Examining the device for clues as to its ownership, the campus officer happened upon an incoming text message. Though veiled, it read like a prelude to a drug deal. He answered in kind. After a few exchanges, the meet was set. Upon receiving the “I’m here” message authorities moved in to find a solitary figure. “I was going to sell some weed,” he quickly admitted and, once relieved on several small packages of marijuana, was arrested and removed to juvenile hall. The other lad faces school sanctions.

Grave dangers
Vandalism at Mountain Cemetery, where a fire in a recycle bin reduced the container to a mass of melted plastic. The police department has seen increased graffiti and vandalism in the area, and has added patrols in response.

Unearthing fun guy
A patrolman spotted a curious culinary circumstance behind Safeway at about 2:45 p.m. as a man was chopping up wild mushrooms on the tailgate of his truck. The shrooms were legal – plucked from the nearby moist ground, most likely; it was the man, strung out on meth, who was breaking the law. After exhibiting the tweaky symptoms of its use, .5 grams of the crystalline substance was found on his person. He was rung up for felony possession and put up a brief struggle while being handcuffed. Some quiet time in the big house may calm his nerves.

Does anybody here speak text?
When a 17-year-old pot dealer set up a sale in the high school bathroom via text messages, he didn’t realize the other set of fingers belonged to a cop. The incident began at about 9 a.m. when another student, 15, was found to have a pot pipe and two cell phones in his backpack. Predictably, he disclaimed any knowledge of the second phone. Examining the device for clues as to its ownership, the campus officer happened upon an incoming text message. Though veiled, it read like a prelude to a drug deal. He answered in kind. After a few exchanges, the meet was set. Upon receiving the “I’m here” message authorities moved in to find a solitary figure. “I was going to sell some weed,” he quickly admitted and, once relieved on several small packages of marijuana, was arrested and removed to juvenile hall. The other lad faces school sanctions.

December 11
Drunks of the Week
Two men urinating outside of a Plaza tavern about 1 a.m., and that’s just the beginning. The gents were urged to move along. Walking home due west as the drunken crow flies, they happened by a West Spain church and began perusing a number of unlocked storage sheds. While playing with some of the items – the hard hats were particularly amusing – their voices carried to a deputy at the Vallejo House. He walked over to find the comedians again relieving their bladders. While sloppily rationalizing their antics to the deputy, one of the men, 27, held his fist tightly clenched. He was persuaded to open it revealing a bag with .9 grams of cocaine. Where did that come from, he asked, I don’t remember having that. Seeing no takers for that load, he blamed short-term memory loss, caused by two energy/alcohol drinks consumed earlier. He was arrested; his cohort, 26, was cited and released.

No room at the inn
Alarming moment at the Sonoma shelter on First St. E., as a drunken transient barged into the house and holed up in one of the bedrooms, refusing to leave. Use of alcohol is strictly forbidden at the facility so, once finally cajoled into exiting, the man, 44, was jailed for trespassing.

December 13
Theft by taxi
A taxicab driver was taken for a ride when his fare, a black man with a backpack traveling from Suisun, ditched him in the Safeway parking lot. Before departing they agreed on a $100 price and the passenger paid $20 up front. His aunt, he reportedly said, would meet them in Sonoma and pay the balance. The cab arrived and the driver waited for thirty minutes – during which the passenger was panhandling for spare change – but Auntie never showed up. The man gave the driver the $9 he had managed to solicit, then ran off. Cops found him nearby. As he was on felony probation, the bust for petty theft (final total, $71) earned him a free ride to the hoosegow.

December 16
But the face is familiar
A Sonoma man well known to authorities for repeated violations for driving with a suspended license outsmarted himself in an effort to avoid detection. On this night, the scofflaw, 29, had borrowed a friend’s car. The wrong car, it turned out, as it was pulled over at 1 a.m. for lacking a front license plate. Bingo – another probation violation.


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