Cops find man’s head in woman’s shirt

According to a Nov. 6 police report, an intoxicated woman exited the Blue Moon Saloon at 11:45 a.m. with a gentleman in tow. (It wasn’t early in the day, she explained later, but extremely late the night before.)

He took a seat on a nearby bench; she stood in front of him and began swaying suggestively. A police officer observing the scene said her dance, or was it merely the drunken inability to stand straight, grew more provocative as she began lifting her shirt in teasing movements.

The would-be strip turned comic when the woman moved close to the man and pulled her shirt over his head. She continued to sway as the man moved his head about the confined area. The twosome was oblivious to an advancing officer. He finally got the woman’s attention by inquiring as to her situation. She happily explained that she was merely showing the man her new piercings, a set of which could only be viewed under intimate circumstances.

Show over, the man, rendered speechless by alcohol and/or exposure to her bejeweled attributes, could not identify himself. The officer asked the woman for his name. After a lengthy pause, she admitted, “I have absolutely no idea.”

Police said the woman was in high spirits, confirmed by a .24 blood alcohol level, and happily complied with the ensuing police procedures, including being booked and jailed for public intoxication.

The man was released, free to try to convince his friends the incident did indeed occur.

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