I smell a rat
The high school assembly took an odious turn when a young prankster set off stink bombs during the proceedings. The resulting “offensive smell” was detected by an on-campus officer, who tracked down the 17-year-old offender. The lad was cited to family youth services.
Like a moldy onion, a disturbance at the community health center revealed several unsavory layers. It started when a female doctor began a routine examination. The patient’s husband, 48, was in the room and objected to the doctor’s activity in his wife’s pelvic area. His anger heated to the point where the police were summoned to escort him out of the building. Later that night, deputies responded to a domestic dispute call in the Springs: it was the same couple. No citations were issued. The next day, the phone down at HQ ran again, but this time it was the wife, 38, on the line. The police report stated the husband could be heard coaching her in the background as she said she wanted to file a rape charge against the doctor; at one point, she inquired, “how much money will I get?” Unofficially the whole affair seems like hokum, save the man’s hot head: he was arrested for freaking out in a Springs grocery store and ripping the phone out of the owner’s hand during an attempted 911 call.
In plain sight
Truth be told, it was an easy bust. A deputy watched as an 18-year-old man walked up to a light post at Fifth St. W, and Napa, took out his can and started tagging. The lawman intervened before any damage was done, but the subsequent conversation lead to the discovery of 26.5 grams of marijuana in the lad’s backpack. He was cited for the weed, and released.
The driver of a red Jeep Wrangler was not, as called in by a concerned citizen at 4:30 a.m., drunk on west MacArthur. He was just driving with a suspended license.
A 66-year-old Santa Rosa man, drunk and ornery, was popped for shoplifting at Sonoma Market. He bought a few items, then went back into the aisle area. After meandering there, he holed up in the bathroom for a length of time that would have been embarrassing under different circumstances. Store security was on to the heist and found, upon his eventual exit from the john, many items in his bag for which he had no receipt, including potatoes, vinegar (two bottles) and meat. His strenuous objections to the bust escalated into an assault on a store staffer. Those two charges, plus a third for public intoxication, added up to a night in the county jail.
A 34-year-old woman was walking along the bike path near the baseball fields, child and dog in tow, when something as bizarre as it was unexpected shattered the moment. A female stranger reached out and smashed a paper coffee cup in the woman’s face. Shocked but unhurt, the woman then heard the voice of a third, unseen female, “just wait and see what I do tomorrow.” The walker continued to the police station to identify the cup-wielding weirdo as a white female, aged 40 to 50, 170 pounds with dark brown hair.
Lights are on, no adults home
The resident in charge of a house filled with beer-swilling teenagers received a citation, as designed, under the social host ordinance. She was all of 18, and as the folks weren’t at the Robinson Road home, the bash was her responsibility.
Drunk of the Week
It’s the age of the offender, not any gruesome details, that makes one a bit nauseous. For early on this morning at Altamira Middle School, the drunk girl throwing up in the nurse’s office was all of 13 years old. Dangerously incapacitated – her blood alcohol level was eventually measured at .15 – she was taken to the hospital, where Mom took over. A citation for public intoxication will add to the girl’s headaches.
All items are taken from verbal accounts of alleged crimes and criminal behavior as related by the Sonoma Police Department.